


Tailgate

by Magnolia8727



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: But not that far off, Not Canon Compliant, Tailgate - Freeform, alternate first meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26802271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnolia8727/pseuds/Magnolia8727
Summary: What if Stevie and Patrick met first?
Relationships: Stevie Budd & Patrick Brewer
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Tailgate

The warm, humid early summer night air added a languid air to the tailgate. Small groups were gathered around the trucks parked in the weedy field, talking and drinking cheap beer from red solo cups. People lazily swatted at mosquitoes and moths, as they milled among the crowd. Stevie could smell charred meat wafting from the barbecue. 

Tipping her head back, she finished the last half of her lukewarm beer in one long swallow. She wasn’t buzzed yet, but another beer and she’d be getting close. Two more and she was likely to start making out with someone, not that there was anything wrong with that.

She looked around at the familiar faces, mentally cataloging her options for the night. One of the biggest drawbacks to staying in Schitt’s Creek is that she’d hooked up with nearly everyone at the tailgate sometime between her sophomore year in high school and now. And if she hadn’t already hooked up with them, there was probably a good reason why.

Twyla walked up with two cups in hand and passed one to Stevie. 

“No David tonight?”

Stevie shrugged noncommittally. “Not tonight.”

Twyla nodded. “Yeah. They’re a lot sometimes. Not as much as my cousins can be, but still a lot.”

They sat there, quietly watching groups split and shift and reform in the moonlight. 

“Isn’t it nice that everyone still comes out to these?” Twyla said.

“Would we call this nice?”

“Of course it’s nice. It’s like having a big family, but with fewer people in jail.”

Stevie snorted. “It wouldn’t feel like family if someone wasn’t in jail.”

Tywla laughed. “True.”

Stevie knew her family had more in common with Twyla’s family than she wanted to admit. She was pretty sure she and Twyla were third cousins or something like that. If her Aunt Maureen was still alive, she could tell Stevie how she was related to almost everyone in this field, so third cousins wasn’t so bad. 

Twyla had always embraced her family, addictions, infidelities, psychic abilities and all. Despite some truly questionable parenting Twyla had come through apparently unscathed, her good cheer keeping a steady clientele at the cafe. Either that, or Twyla was secretly a serial killer, serving her victims as dinner at the cafe. Stevie ruminated on that possibility for a minute. She’d have to discuss it with David later. 

Stevie spent her childhood and teenage years avoiding and ignoring her family as much as possible, getting very good at being alone in the process. When her mother left town with yet another guy, who was technically now Stevie’s ex-stepfather, Stevie was just relieved her mom was gone and moved in with her aunt to finish high school. 

Ugh, and here she was getting maudlin at a tailgate, when she should be getting drunk and deciding who to hook up with that night. Stevie straightened up and adjusted her boobs so her tank top framed her cleavage. Time to get back to business.

Jake walked by, and Stevie’s eyes followed his ass until he walked out of sight. Twyla smiled at Stevie. “Oh, that’s why you didn’t invite David.”

“Bottom’s up,” Stevie said, as she drained her beer to avoid looking at Twyla in case she was blushing. Twyla lifted her cup in a toast and then followed Stevie’s example. 

Stevie should have invited David to the tailgate, just for the company, but David made it so much harder for Stevie to get laid, and well, a woman had needs. David was clingy and codependent at the best of times, and since the Blouse Barn closed, he’d been needier than usual. Gossip traveled fast in Schitt’s Creek, so most of the town knew Stevie and David had been a thing. When David was hanging on her, it just confused other guys. Or frightened them off- David’s structured wardrobe could be off-putting to guys who thought buttoning their flannel was dressing up.

Also, she hadn’t told him she was still occasionally seeing Jake. She knew she should tell him she was still hooking up with Jake, but after the near disaster with Jake’s throuple proposal, she just couldn’t. 

It’s not that she still had feelings for David on a normal day, but she also knew it would be easy to fall back into him, if she slipped up at all. No, she needed to be at the tailgate alone tonight.

Twyla made a surprised noise and Stevie looked up to see… Ray?? With some guy she’d never seen before? Well, this was interesting. This didn’t look like one of Ray’s relatives, and they didn’t often get new people in Schitt’s Creek. 

“Ray!” Twyla called him over.

“Hello! Twyla, I’d like you to meet my new roommate, Patrick. Patrick, Twyla runs the cafe in town.”

“Hi Patrick. It’s nice to meet you,” Twyla said. Patrick smiled and held out his hand to Twyla. 

“What am I, chopped liver?” Stevie asked.

“”Patrick, this is Stevie. She runs the motel in town. Or owns now. She owns the motel, until we can sell it for her.”

Patrick extended his hand to Stevie. 

Stevie lifted one eyebrow as she appraised Patrick. He wore a blue button up shirt and jeans so tight Stevie worried about his future fertility. He definitely wasn’t from around here, but he was cute in a puppy-like sort of way. 

“New in town?” she asked. “And I’m not selling, Ray. Mr. Rose is helping me with it.”

“Yeah,” Patrick replied. “I just moved in a week ago.”

“Yes, Patrick is my new roommate,” Ray said, with a huge smile.

“Roommate?” Stevie asked, one side of her lips twisting up. This was potentially new information about Ray.

“Ray was kind enough to let me rent his spare room, while I get settled in town.”

“What brought you to Schitt’s Creek?” Twyla asked. Stevie was curious, too. It had been a long time since anyone had voluntarily moved to Schitt’s Creek. Schitt’s Creek had become a place where people grew up and left if they could. Some people moved home again, after having a kid or getting divorced, but someone brand new? Other than the Roses, who were involuntarily exiled to the town, there hadn’t been anyone new, since, well, Ray.

“Oh, I’m working for Ray as a business consultant.”

“Business consultant? Is that a real job?” Stevie asked.

“Sure,” Patrick said. “I’m handling taxes, bookkeeping and paperwork like incorporation forms, license applications and all that stuff.”

“Huh,” Stevie said, tuning out somewhere between taxes and bookkeeping. Patrick didn’t seem like her type, but he was new in town, and he did have a nice ass in those jeans. 

“Ok, Patrick. I’ll introduce you to more people.” Ray ushered Patrick in the direction of the keg and the crowd.

Twyla and Stevie watched Ray and Patrick walk away. “What was that?” Stevie asked, rhetorically. 

Twyla, true to form, answered seriously. “He’s sort of cute. When Ray said roommates, what did that mean?”

“I don’t know. Give me a few minutes, I’ll try to find out.”

Stevie pushed off the tailgate and sauntered over to the crowd. 

*****************

A few beers later, Stevie was past buzzed and solidly drunk. She looked around the thinning crowd. Jake was at the barbecue, chatting up a couple of guys. Stevie figured a few minutes with him and she could get him to leave with her. Leaving a tailgate with Jake was good for some bragging rights. Leaving a tailgate alone with Jake was the sort of thing that started legends.

She was still standing there, contemplating Jake, when she felt a presence at her elbow. 

“So, who’s the guy at the barbecue?” Patrick asked, lifting his beer cup in that general direction.

“That’s Jake.”

“He’s nice looking.”

Stevie gave Patrick a side eye. Jake WAS hot, but guys in Schitt’s Creek normally didn’t notice other guys.

“What? You were staring at him.”

“Was not.”

“Okay, what were you staring at then?” Patrick asked.

Stevie turned to face him. “Maybe I was staring at you.”

“But I was behind you?” Patrick said, slightly flustered.

“Maybe I have eyes in the back of my head.”

“You’re funny. I like you.” Patrick said

Stevie kept looking at Patrick, dropping her dark eyes to his lips. Patrick gave a half smile, almost more of a smirk, and Stevie leaned in.

Their lips met, softly at first, and growing more insistent as neither pulled away. Finally Patrick pulled back. “I, uh, wasn’t planning to do that tonight,” he stammered.

“Do what tonight?”

“Kiss anyone.” Patrick replied. 

“Well, now that you’ve broken the seal, would you be interested in doing it again?”

Patrick looked at his shoes, and even in the dark, Stevie could see the blush creeping up his neck.

“I take it that means no?”

“Um, I just… I….”

Stevie watched him founder. She wasn’t used to having this effect on men. Usually a kiss led, quickly, to more. 

“Was it that bad?”

“No! It was fine. I mean, it was nice. Nice. It was nice.”

“Nice? It was nice? High praise,” Stevie said sarcastically. She could see the panic in his eyes. Hmm. Maybe he had a girlfriend back home? Or he was married? 

She leaned in and kissed him again, this time wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him close. It was like attempting to kiss a statue- he was as stiff as a board. He didn’t even attempt to touch her, which was disappointing.

“Okay, so not into me. Got it.” Steve said as she stepped back. 

“No. It’s not you. I just... “ Patrick sighed. “It’s me.”

“That’s a new line. It’s not you, it’s me.”

“No, I really mean it. I’m, um, just not ready for a relationship.”

“Who said anything about a relationship? We could just have fun tonight?”

“What’s the story with the guy in the tank top?”

“Oh, that’s Jake.” Stevie looked Patrick up and down. Bringing the conversation back to Jake, interesting. 

“You told me that much before. I mean, is he your boyfriend or something?”

Stevie choked on her beer. “Jake? No, Jake doesn’t do relationships like that.”

“But you like him?”

“I like his dick,” Stevie said bluntly. She watched Patrick’s flush turn into a deep red bloom across his cheeks.

“Do you like Jake?” Stevie asked.

“I don’t know Jake,” Patrick retorted.

“Well, do you like what you see?”

“He looks like he works out,” Patrick said, uncertainly. 

“Oh, he works it. With anyone. Do you want me to introduce you?”

“No, no, that’s okay,” Patrick almost stuttered.

“So, do you drink red wine?”

“Sure. I like red wine. But this seemed more like a beer event.”

Stevie smirked. “You should stop by the motel some time. There’s someone you might want to meet.”

Stevie sauntered over to Jake, intrigued to learn more about Patrick. It seemed like there might be more than meets the eye to him.


End file.
